Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Take Off You(r) Hoser(y)

I have always hated pantyhose. I hated the scritchy feeling of them on my legs and the feeling when those legs touched each other. They seem to always need adjusting and the top part is always too tight and constricting. I'm more of the free flowing bare legs philosophy.

I clearly remember being forced to wear pantyhose for my sister Connie's wedding. I was appalled that I would have to wear them on such a hot day. As luck would have it, I inadvertently purchased "control top". I was 17...I didn't need any control on the top and it just made them tighter and more irritating. As soon as the ceremony was over, so was my relationship with those pantyhose.

Well, sometimes when you're an adult you have to bite the bullet and, well, be an adult. Pantyhose have made their way back into my wardrobe. I don't mind the scritchy feeling as much as I used to and they are much more appropriate with a skirt than bare legs. Especially in January!

Yesterday I decided to wear a dress I discovered at the back of my closet. Things tend to migrate to the edges and I usually pull something from the centre - leaving the outer edges as "new" items in the wardrobe when you find them. So, I pulled out the dress and wiggled my way into a pair of "nightshade" pantyhose. By the time I got to the office, I hit a snag...literally. I had a snag just above my left knee. The longer it was there, the bigger it got. An afternoon meeting required me to go straight from job #1 to job #2 and I decided that rather than trying to strategically cross my right leg over left all evening, I would stop and purchase a new pair.

What a baffling ordeal. A dizzying array of colours, sizes and types. Control top (I'm familiar with those) sandal toe (what?), nude, neutral, medium neutral, dark neutral...seriously?!?! I just need a pair ASAP. I got to work, pitched the old ones, put on the new ones and was good to go. I made it almost to the end of the day without a hitch (or should I say snag). At about 10:30 pm, I crossed my right leg over left, the zipper of my boot caught the sheer material and wouldn't you know, I had a small hole/snag in the exact same spot as I did earlier that day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

what a delightful story!