My Dear Friend Laurie

As we slid into our seats at London's Centennial Hall for the Vinyl Cafe Christmas show, we were so excited to experience Stuart McLean in person - together with all of the festive elements of the show. This was a delight and we determined at that moment it would become an annual tradition. In fact, why wait for Christmas? Our adventures would one day earn our hashtag (who else would care but us?) #LLJMAdventures  

When I think of Laurie, inevitably, I think of our Vinyl Cafe outings. But, there are so many other moments that pop to mind as well. She loved the idea of an "adventure" and seeing where the road would lead us. I loved our times together for she was a kindred spirit. We laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed. 

Last Christmas when she told me she had been diagnosed with leukemia I was astounded. How could that be? We were so young and full of life and energy? I was relieved when a friend from church shared with me that her husband has the same type of cancer and it is very manageable. He's been living with it for 8 years. I could relax a bit.

But, you know what really sucks? When life gets in the way. Over the past 2 years life has been turned upside down and face to face friendships have been put on hold. Laurie and I had many plans for checking out a local artisan market or just coffee in our kitchen but each time something came up that roadblocked our plans. We were both flexible as this has always been the case with trying to arrange a time that worked for us both. 

Looking back, I wish I had taken the time to make the phone call we had talked about. But, once again, life got in the way. We had planned to talk on Sunday afternoon but after getting home from church and having lunch and going to pick Cody up, I had forgotten. 

Within a couple of weeks, Laurie was in the hospital and the outlook was not good. I was dumbfounded. On December 23 I was notified that she had passed away. 

How could that be?

I've never experienced the loss of a friend before. My emotions were all over the map - shock, disbelief, sorrow, anguish, anger, sadness.... And this was all happening the day before Christmas Eve. Needless to say, it weighed on my mind as we celebrated this year. I kept thinking of the gifts she would have picked out and probably wrapped under the tree for her family. The thought was unbearable. In our last text conversation, she shared with me about their annual trip to get their Christmas tree. I always look forward to their Team Lane photo with the tree. I had no idea it would be the last one.

It has been a couple of months and I'm still processing. There are days that trigger emotions... like today when I saw this pic of Laurie's daughter Emma picking out her wedding dress with her Dad. I saw the photo, read Emma's caption and burst into a full-on ugly cry. Laurie was so excited when she shared with me about Emma's engagement. She was so looking forward to planning that special day with her daughter. It seems so unfair to both of them that she is not here for these precious moments. I am so thrilled that Emma and Bobby have Dave for their Dad. Of course, he is dealing with his own grief but the way I have seen this family face this tragic hurdle has been nothing short of inspirational. 

Facebook memories pop up with a post that Laurie tagged me in and I laugh and cry at the adventures we shared. I am so grateful to have had our times together. And I'm certain that Laurie is rejoicing with her Lord and had come to terms with God's plan for her.