Thursday, April 09, 2020

Isolated Thoughts

I have been wanting to sit down and record my thoughts for the past few weeks, but it feels like life has been so busy! I've been working from home since March 13th and now have Cody home with me doing school. So, our days are busy. However, I want to record my thoughts about how I'm feeling during this pandemic.

On March 12th life seemed normal. I took my computer home with me from work because I typically work from home on Fridays. I had plans to take a vacation day on Monday as it was my birthday. We had been hearing about the caronavirus for several months but it seemed so distant. However, it was now creeping into Canada and impacting our daily lives. At the end of the day, we found out schools would be closed an additional 2 weeks for March break. I thought this was because of people going away on March break and they wanted travelers to wait the 2 weeks after leaving the country. We went to hockey that night and even had some friends join us for Cody's game. We talked about Cody being home for an extra 2 weeks and how we would handle that. We thought maybe grandparents would be involved and they offered to help out since they're retired.

Very quickly, things changed. By Sunday morning, I had been reading about "flattening the curve" and "social distancing" and realized we needed to cancel all plans and stay home. Unfortunately, that meant delaying a double date with my best friend to celebrate my birthday and pancakes at Cracker Barrel with my parents. I also cancelled a hair appointment I had that week. Although, it didn't matter because by the time those dates came, the province was in a state of emergency and restaurants and entertainment industries were closed (except for take out).

The first week I had a wide range of emotions. Fear topped the list. Fear of this unknown virus. Fear of financial stability. Fear of how life was about to change. During the first week I consumed a lot of news about what was going on and that didn't help. Cody spent March break with his biological mom as it was her turn on our rotation. It was hard not having him at home and we were looking forward to his return on Friday night. When he arrived, he headed straight for the shower and we washed all of the stuff he had with him.

The beginning of week two meant I was working half days while taking half vacation days - which will last 4 weeks. I made a schedule for Cody to keep him busy as his teachers were busy learning technology that could be used to keep the kids learning from home. He build a lot of Lego projects, listened to a lot of Adventures in Odyssey and enjoyed some video chats with his cousins. During this time I kept praying and giving over my anxiety to God....but I kept snatching it back. There was a lot of things to worry about - the health of my family, my extended family and friends. Job security - Devin & I are both working, currently, but my brother and sister were both laid off - along with countless others across the country. I am grateful that Devin is working and providing for his family but it does concern me that he is "out there" each day.

And, of course, we were still renovating our kitchen! Fortunately, we were in the end stages and the light at the end of the tunnel was shining. However, our family room had become a storage area, kitchen prep, cooking area, dining room and now it was my office and Cody's classroom. That was really starting to get to me - eating amongst keyboards and headphones each night. I felt like I wanted to burst into tears at any moment. However, Cody and I were spending some great time together - doing online art classes, learning to cook, playing chess and walking around our neighbourhood.

By Thursday of week 2 his teacher had a Google Classroom set up and Cody started doing e-learning. I've been impressed with how well he has adapted. I'm also very grateful for all of the efforts of the teaching staff at Woodstock Christian School for keeping our kids engaged and learning. It has been challenging, to be sure, to work from home and help him with school stuff. He is far from independent when it comes to learning but we are figuring out our new normal and trying to be patient with each other.

Fortunately, we were able to get our countertops installed. I wasn't sure how that would go - was it an essential service? Turns out that it was, since we were without a functioning kitchen and the order had already been started. I was apprehensive about allowing people into our home, but we decided it needed to be done as we couldn't live like this indefinitely. They were in and out in 45 minutes and we wiped everything down. It felt GREAT when Devin got the plumbing connected and I could cook in my new kitchen!

Continued prayer has helped me to accept what is happening around us and keep in mind that God is in control I can trust him in all things and surely this qualifies. It has been encouraging to connect with friends through video chats and attend church through Facebook live. The cool thing is, I can get encouragement from pastors from other churches I've been connected with over the years because they're on Facebook too!

It's interesting to think back over the thoughts I've had in the last three and a half weeks and how they have morphed and changed. Random things to remember:

  • Initially I assumed everything I touched outside our house was covered in the virus and washed my hands A LOT. Which led to using more moisturizer. And not wearing my engagement/wedding rings so they weren't constantly gooped up.
  • Social media posts flooded in about signs of the virus...one of the things I read was that you should be able to hold your breath for 10 seconds without coughing, so I would hold my breath and count to 10. Whew...ok good. I'm ok. I'm not sure what I was thinking since I was not leaving the house except to walk to the mailbox!
  • Gas prices are incredibly low....like 65 cents. I had filled up on March 14th and I've not driven anywhere since then! So, our monthly gas budget is doing great but it's a shame to miss out on those cheap prices.
  • There are TONS of free online resources for people spending time at home - virtual tours of museums and zoos, online art classes, audiobooks, etc. 
  • We had done so many great family activities - boardgames, movies, playing catch, jigsaw puzzle, and walking around the neighbourhood.
I'm sure I will have more updates in the days and weeks to come but until now, these are my thoughts.



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