The Big 4-oh!

Forty is a milestone. I can recall both of my parents turning 40. We had a surprise party for each of them - and they were truly surprised! So, as Devin's 40th approached we talked about how to celebrate. Would we have a party? Go on a trip? We decided on both LOL. 

We thought it would be super fun to have a pig roast and invite our family and friends. We had planned for outdoor games and a fun way to gather all of our people together. In addition, we were planning a trip to the Smoky Mountains. Devin has always wanted to drive the "tail of the dragon" and we planned to drive the Cobalt down to the Smokies for a week.

And then it happened.

We had to change our plans. The borders are not open for travel and gathering together is either not allowed or certainly frowned upon (depending on the day of the week). So, I made alternative plans. I discovered this great service called tribute.co which allows you to gather videos from people and edit them together for your loved one. That was a fun process and Devin LOVED the result. 

We also had the Koiters over for a fancy dinner the night before his big day. It was fun to get all dressed up at home, bring out the nice dishes and eat by candlelight. And, on his birthday I surprised him with a "drive by party". It wasn't quite as big and exciting as in my mind (which is typical) but he enjoyed the day and felt very celebrated.

What is it like being married to Devin? Well, it means I laugh a deep, belly-laugh each and every day. It means coffee is brewed to perfection. It means feeling safe, protected and treasured. It means listening to the same stories over and over. It means meticulously cut veggies in my lunch. It means fearing for my life as he jumps out of his hiding spot. It means falling more in love every day.

I am so grateful God brought this man into my life and look forward to what He has in store for us.

Father's Day

Time seems to be flying these days, despite more time at home. Father's Day was here before we knew it! I am so grateful to have three amazing fathers in my life.

My own Dad...he's known me my whole life! A man of few words and actions speak louder than words ever could. Family means everything to my dad and he sacrificed many times over the years to provide for us and give us opportunities he never had.

My dad loves to travel and we went on many family adventures in my younger years in our motor home. Even as I got older, I was able to travel with him and Mum to see the Smoky Mountains and the rolling hills of Pennsylvania. I'm pretty sure Dad ingrained my love of travel in me with all of those trips. And not just my love of travel but also country music :)

Growing up on the farm, there were always lots of jobs to be done to help out. At the time, I hated it. But, now I appreciate the work ethic he was instilling in each of us. Despite not finishing school, Dad is very capable in a wide variety of trades and skills. I like that about him - I always felt he could do anything I asked him!

Then I met Devin. Not only did I fall in love with this man as my husband but I also fell in love with the Daddy that he is to Cody. He lovingly guides him, corrects him and leads by example. He takes his role seriously and invests in his relationship with his son regularly.

Devin is the perfect blend of a manly-man that knows his way around the garage and a tender-hearted, caring and encouraging daddy. I am so blessed to walk beside him on this journey.

And...what a bonus! When I met Devin, I met Randy :) Randy is Devin's stepdad and I immediately knew we would connect. I saw a lot of similarities with my own dad and could see the evidence of his love and sacrifice in the lives of Devin and Cody.

Before I met Devin, I really didn't know any step families. There just weren't many in my social circles so the thought of becoming a step mom was foreign to me. God knew I would need a mentor and He gave me Randy. He has been an inspiration from day one - showing me how to love a child that is not biologically mine without any hesitation. He does not call Devin his "step son"...simply "son" and I have done the same with Cody.

Before 2015, I had only ever had one dad. Now I have two :) I have adopted Randy as Dad and love him as if he were flesh and blood. I received a pretty special Mother's Day card this year. Dad has not been going into stores so he made it. He was concerned I would think it was awful but instead I thought the opposite. It brought tears to my eyes, but you can draw your own conclusion from the picture below. He used a piece of cardboard he had in the house, paint from a model car and a Sobey's flyer for the envelope. Oh, my heart.

I am blessed to have these men (and one red-headed up-and-comer) in my life.

Mother's Day

What a wonderful Mother's Day this year turned out to be. Typically, Cody spends the day with his biological mom, but since COVID 19 he has been staying with us. That meant that he was with us for the weekend - what a blessing!

Mother's Day has typically been a difficult holiday for me. There have been many tears shed through the years with my mum, wondering if I would ever get the opportunity to become part of the club. What an unexpected and delightful surprise when I met Devin and Cody. I am honestly so amazed at the bond I've been able to forge with Cody. It truly is a remarkable relationship.

The first time I met Cody was May 9, 2015. Devin & I discussed when the right time would be for us to meet as we didn't want it to be too early. By May, we felt it was time and Devin arranged a very special (surprise) afternoon to commemorate what we knew would be a day for us both to remember. He took us on a helicopter ride over Niagara Falls! I felt like I was dreaming as I realized God bringing the pieces of my life together.

I wasn't sure what to expect, but on Sunday morning I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and my 2 favourite boys waiting for me on the couch. After online church, I opened my gifts and was delighted to be crowned "Queen for a Day" complete with a tiara, royal decree and personal pedicure. Devin was a good teacher for Cody, showing him how to fill up the foot bath and then use the tools to remove the callouses from my feet. They even painted my toenails! Such royal treatment!

We followed that up by playing the game of Life. Devin was ahead by a long shot, but when we re-read the rules of how to win, there is a clause that allows you to "bet the farm" and try to win by becoming a Millionaire Tycoon. Basically, place your bet on one number out of ten and spin the wheel. If you spin the right number, you win and the game is over. If you lose, you spend the remainder of the game in the poor house. I had nothing to lose, so I put all my money on number 8. I spun the wheel and I GOT AN 8!! It just seemed appropriate for me to win on Mother's Day. LOL.

I didn't see my own dear mother, but we did have a visit on the deck the week before. The weather was beautiful which allowed us to spend a few hours outside having a visit, while social distancing. I'm so glad we went the week before as Mother's Day was cold and wet.

I'm so grateful for the precious relationship I have with my mum. I've always felt we shared a special bond as I was the youngest and often it would just be the two of us at home or out on an errand. She has always been unwavering support and one of my closest companions. I miss being able to see and talk to her as much as before I was married. And although I know she misses that too, I also know she is thrilled that I now have a family of my own and all of those tearful Mother's Days are behind us.

Pro's and Con's

These days at home have provided some unique opportunities. We don't really have a "busy" life but all the same, with our few options removed (virtual piano lessons, no AWANA, no hockey) we've been spending a lot more time together as a family.

Some of my favourite things about our social distancing:

• Campfire for supper
• Family movie nights (Favourites, so far: The Blindside, Despicable Me 1 & 2, Big Miracle, The Sound of Music)
• Jigsaw Puzzle
• Slot cars
• Baking 
• Playing catch on the front lawn
• Family board game tournament
• Building a fort with Daddy
• Snacking (Snacks become very important when you can't leave your house)
• Video chats with family & friends
• Watching The Phantom of The Opera on YouTube
• Working from home/no commute 
• Daily check-ins from my Aunt Penny

 Things I am not liking about the current isolation:

• Wearing all the hats - mum, employee, teacher, entertainment director, playmate, cook
• How the days blur together
• Time flies - people are posting about being bored or having all the projects in their house accomplished. I am not one of those people. By the time I finish working for the day and helping Cody with school assignments, practicing piano and doing his DynaRead lesson (for extra literacy help) I need to start making dinner and then cleaning up from dinner. Then I'm coaxed into "family time" until he goes to bed and I'm so pooped by then that I'm ready for bed myself! 
• How much I'm enjoying my casual clothes and not doing my hair, makeup!
• Proximity to the snacks
• Anxiety, fear, uncertainty

Isolated Thoughts

I have been wanting to sit down and record my thoughts for the past few weeks, but it feels like life has been so busy! I've been working from home since March 13th and now have Cody home with me doing school. So, our days are busy. However, I want to record my thoughts about how I'm feeling during this pandemic.

On March 12th life seemed normal. I took my computer home with me from work because I typically work from home on Fridays. I had plans to take a vacation day on Monday as it was my birthday. We had been hearing about the caronavirus for several months but it seemed so distant. However, it was now creeping into Canada and impacting our daily lives. At the end of the day, we found out schools would be closed an additional 2 weeks for March break. I thought this was because of people going away on March break and they wanted travelers to wait the 2 weeks after leaving the country. We went to hockey that night and even had some friends join us for Cody's game. We talked about Cody being home for an extra 2 weeks and how we would handle that. We thought maybe grandparents would be involved and they offered to help out since they're retired.

Very quickly, things changed. By Sunday morning, I had been reading about "flattening the curve" and "social distancing" and realized we needed to cancel all plans and stay home. Unfortunately, that meant delaying a double date with my best friend to celebrate my birthday and pancakes at Cracker Barrel with my parents. I also cancelled a hair appointment I had that week. Although, it didn't matter because by the time those dates came, the province was in a state of emergency and restaurants and entertainment industries were closed (except for take out).

The first week I had a wide range of emotions. Fear topped the list. Fear of this unknown virus. Fear of financial stability. Fear of how life was about to change. During the first week I consumed a lot of news about what was going on and that didn't help. Cody spent March break with his biological mom as it was her turn on our rotation. It was hard not having him at home and we were looking forward to his return on Friday night. When he arrived, he headed straight for the shower and we washed all of the stuff he had with him.

The beginning of week two meant I was working half days while taking half vacation days - which will last 4 weeks. I made a schedule for Cody to keep him busy as his teachers were busy learning technology that could be used to keep the kids learning from home. He build a lot of Lego projects, listened to a lot of Adventures in Odyssey and enjoyed some video chats with his cousins. During this time I kept praying and giving over my anxiety to God....but I kept snatching it back. There was a lot of things to worry about - the health of my family, my extended family and friends. Job security - Devin & I are both working, currently, but my brother and sister were both laid off - along with countless others across the country. I am grateful that Devin is working and providing for his family but it does concern me that he is "out there" each day.

And, of course, we were still renovating our kitchen! Fortunately, we were in the end stages and the light at the end of the tunnel was shining. However, our family room had become a storage area, kitchen prep, cooking area, dining room and now it was my office and Cody's classroom. That was really starting to get to me - eating amongst keyboards and headphones each night. I felt like I wanted to burst into tears at any moment. However, Cody and I were spending some great time together - doing online art classes, learning to cook, playing chess and walking around our neighbourhood.

By Thursday of week 2 his teacher had a Google Classroom set up and Cody started doing e-learning. I've been impressed with how well he has adapted. I'm also very grateful for all of the efforts of the teaching staff at Woodstock Christian School for keeping our kids engaged and learning. It has been challenging, to be sure, to work from home and help him with school stuff. He is far from independent when it comes to learning but we are figuring out our new normal and trying to be patient with each other.

Fortunately, we were able to get our countertops installed. I wasn't sure how that would go - was it an essential service? Turns out that it was, since we were without a functioning kitchen and the order had already been started. I was apprehensive about allowing people into our home, but we decided it needed to be done as we couldn't live like this indefinitely. They were in and out in 45 minutes and we wiped everything down. It felt GREAT when Devin got the plumbing connected and I could cook in my new kitchen!

Continued prayer has helped me to accept what is happening around us and keep in mind that God is in control I can trust him in all things and surely this qualifies. It has been encouraging to connect with friends through video chats and attend church through Facebook live. The cool thing is, I can get encouragement from pastors from other churches I've been connected with over the years because they're on Facebook too!

It's interesting to think back over the thoughts I've had in the last three and a half weeks and how they have morphed and changed. Random things to remember:

• Initially I assumed everything I touched outside our house was covered in the virus and washed my hands A LOT. Which led to using more moisturizer. And not wearing my engagement/wedding rings so they weren't constantly gooped up.
• Social media posts flooded in about signs of the virus...one of the things I read was that you should be able to hold your breath for 10 seconds without coughing, so I would hold my breath and count to 10. Whew...ok good. I'm ok. I'm not sure what I was thinking since I was not leaving the house except to walk to the mailbox!
• Gas prices are incredibly low....like 65 cents. I had filled up on March 14th and I've not driven anywhere since then! So, our monthly gas budget is doing great but it's a shame to miss out on those cheap prices.
• There are TONS of free online resources for people spending time at home - virtual tours of museums and zoos, online art classes, audiobooks, etc. 
• We had done so many great family activities - boardgames, movies, playing catch, jigsaw puzzle, and walking around the neighbourhood.

I'm sure I will have more updates in the days and weeks to come but until now, these are my thoughts.

Our Kitchen Reno - A Video Journey

When we started the process, I decided to document the journey with video updates. I knew I would appreciate looking back on these snippets to see how much things really changed! By default, Devin is my host!

Kitchen Reno!

Our first impression of our house when walking in with our real estate agent was:

• the walls need to be painted (they were a dark burgundy colour)
• the light over the table needed to go (wooden/fabric contraption)
• the kitchen layout and finishing choices was horrific - we would need to renovate

In fact, Vikki took me aside when we were seriously considering buying the house to say "Are you sure you want that kitchen? There's not even a dishwasher in it!" We had already decided that we would renovate the kitchen so I said I would wash dishes by hand until we did that. Ha ha ha. Looking back, I realize how naive I was! After living in the house 2 months, we were installing a dishwasher - albeit in an very awkward location.

We opted to finish the basement before tackling the kitchen. Although this turned out to be the right decision, our reasoning wasn't all that reasonable. LOL. We thought we'd get more "bang for our buck" by doing the basement first. And while we got lots of "bang" (family room, spare bedroom, finished closet space, washroom and several utility/storage areas) it was more "buck" than we had initially thought. However, we are thrilled by the results and after enjoying the space for the past 2 years it was time to take on the kitchen.

We decided last winter that we would start just after Christmas. That gave us pretty much a year to design and plan as well as save up some money! We had already decided on Ikea cabinets based on several friends that had done an Ikea kitchen. Now we just needed to navigate their software and start designing. It's fun to look back on the early designs - which basically started as what we had plus an island. We played around with moving the door to the laundry room, moving the stove, moving the fridge etc. but the game changer was deciding to close in the awkward window! That's when things really started to take shape.

I'm so glad we made this choice. Initially it felt like a "big deal" to close in a window but after talking to a few people we determined it was not as big of a deal as we thought and it improved the layout of the kitchen immensely! We closed the window in October in anticipation of wintery weather in January.

There was lots of research involved in coming up with our final choices:

• trips to Ikea
• browsing Pinterest
• attending the "Tour of Renovations" put on by the homebuilders' association
• trips to local flooring, tile, lighting, etc. stores
• soliciting advice from friends & family that have done a kitchen reno

On December 27th we started taking all the stuff off the walls and moving the contents of the cupboards to the basement where we would have our makeshift kitchen. (Remember when I said we made the right choice about finishing the basement first? Ya. I can't imagine doing this project and not having anywhere to BE when the upstairs is in such turmoil) On December 30th Devin started taking down the hideous wall and we've been going ever since!

I had no idea how much this project would infiltrate every room of the house. Displaced items from the livingroom in the office, the spare bedroom dismantled to access plumbing and electrical, the freezer room (where lots of extra kitchen stuff was being stored) spilled into the family room to access the electrical panel and run wiring and pipes. I believe our bedrooms are the only respite we have! But, it's finally coming together and the end result will be worth it. We're so excited! (And I'll be thrilled to be able to cook real food again and get rid of my dishpan hands!)

The Speech

Do you remember fifth grade? Do you remember the terror of doing an oral presentation? I do! I was in Mrs. Babcock's class and my topic was the Olympic torch relay. My sister Connie had carried the torch leading up to the Calgary 88 Olympics so I had a first hand account. I practiced and practiced and when the day came, I clutched my cue cards tightly as I stood in front of my class and delivered my speech.

Well, Cody is in grade 5 and he is currently working on his oral presentation. They had to choose an interesting person to research and deliver a speech about. He decided to go with his love of cars and chose the president of GM. I was curious - was that the current president? The first president? What was his name and what had he done that was interesting? With a little coaching, Devin persuaded him to change lanes and focus on Elon Musk - the driving force behind the Tesla. (Cody points out a Tesla any time he sees one!)

Initially I thought this assignment would kill us all! The research (50 jot notes required), outline, rough draft, final draft and finally memorizing...it all seemed like too much. Especially for a kid that struggles with literacy. But, you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So, we broke down the tasks and got busy. Dynaread got put on hold as we focused on this project and slowly, it started to take shape.

Learning about Elon Musk has been fascinating! What an amazingly brilliant mind. He was reading five hours per day when he was ten years old and taught himself computer programming. He has gone on to develop the company that became PayPal which was bought by Ebay and then used that money to fund SpaceX. He is using abstract and interesting methods to make fiction reality in so many areas - space travel, internet satellites, transportation tubes and so much more than can fit into a grade 5 speech. Also, an interesting fact I learned is that he inspired the Robert Downey Jr. character for Iron Man. Cool!

Cody has embraced this project and has exceeded my expectations! Once we had a final draft ready, I had him read it from the paper 3 or 4 times per day. I told him this would help familiarize him with the words and help him get quicker. My sneaky ulterior motive was that it would help him memorize it without realizing it. And, guess what? It worked! On Sunday night I asked him to say as much as he could without the paper and he made it through with only a few prompts. We were both really excited :) I hope that when he delivers the speech in front of his class, he's not too nervous to include all the great expression that he uses when he does it at home.

We have survived the speech of grade five. Surely, we can take on anything now.