Mum's Lament

I have absolutely loved my transition from single gal to wife and mum. But, one thing I have struggled with is how it has impacted my pre-existing relationships.

Clearly, I have less available time than before. That makes sense! I have two new people that I am committed to investing in. I love spending time with Devin & Cody. However, I struggle with not seeing all of the wonderful people in my life that I used to have time for - coffee, games nights, trivia at MoHo, etc.

I suppose part of the issue is that I moved 45 minutes away from where I used to live. That, alone, causes more scheduling issues than before. It's not as simple as saying "stop by for a coffee after dinner tonight". In addition to that, I wasn't tuned into how consuming parenting can be. After school we are focused on practicing piano, multiplication drills, practicing for spelling tests, memory work and completing an additional reading program to help him where he struggles. If there's time we might play a family game or go for a bike ride.

I love this aspect of my "new" life and wouldn't trade it for the world. But, some days I feel like I'm not living up to my own expectations for my friendships. I feel defeated when I realize whole seasons have passed between seeing a particular friend. Or realizing the last time I saw another friend was when she told me she was pregnant...now she has a new little bundle in her arms.

This is a season. I keep telling myself that. I am savoring the moments I have with Cody because I know one day he will be grown up and moved away and I'll long for the days we practiced the 7 times table! I am blessed beyond measure to have him and Devin in my life. But, sometimes it's good for the soul to let your thoughts flow through your fingertips and express themselves. The conflicted feelings always sort themselves out and I know most of my friends are in the same spot, so they understand.

Confessions of a Mum

Summer was a wonderful frolicking dance - the guidelines were unclear, rules were relaxed and the temperature was right for kicking off your shoes! But, like it always does, it faded away with the routines and schedule of September.

Don't get me wrong. By the last week of August, I was yearning for September. One full month of late bedtimes, no routines and lots of time on the road makes for a pretty cranky little boy and frazzled parents!

My precious boy has amazed me during the month of September. We decided in the spring to switch to Woodstock Christian School which meant a new class, new teacher, new bus, new friends. Lots of changes for a boy that has already adapted to a brand new life. On Labour Day, as we worked to organize his brand new school supplies he said "I wish I could go to school today! I'm so excited!"

The first week we heard about how amazing the new school is. He really is enjoying the new setting and people. But, there are new and greater expectations. Part of it is being in grade four and part of it is the high standard of curriculum at the new school.

We are four weeks into school and he has memorized 2 scripture passages + the books of the Bible. He got 33/39 on his Bible test and is memorizing multiplication tables. He's dissected a worm, applied to be part of a leadership team, is running cross country and raised $60 for the Terry Fox Run.

During the month of September, we have had a great opportunity to do some bonding as Devin has been away 21 days of the month! Cummins sent him to the Arctic for 10 days, he returned for 5 days and then was off on a long-planned moose hunting trip with his dad, my dad, brother and nephew. Of course, it's more challenging to be a "single" parent while having him away but it also has been so rewarding.

We've had the opportunity to spend some great quality time together - focused on academics or piano as well as fun times like a bike ride, geocaching or going out for breakfast. These are the moments I cherish and am so blessed to have him call me Mummy.

Last week, I watched him walk to the bus stop and stand there in his cute little rubber boots. He stood there for a moment until the big yellow bus pulled up. He turned and waved and climbed onboard. My emotions hit me like a tidal wave when he took his seat, pressed his face to the window and waved at me. There I sat, alone in my car, tears streaming down my face. I wasn't prepared for the outburst and not sure what triggered it, but I am so incredibly lucky and grateful to have this kid in my life. I had no idea how amazing it would be to be a mum. I daily thank the Lord for bringing Cody into my life and giving me the opportunity to fulfill the desires of my heart.